By Catherine Andrews, Alberta Legal Coach
You’ve just separated, or maybe you’re bracing for that difficult conversation with your former partner. Either way, you’re in a dilemma. You know there are tough times ahead. You’re mentally psyching yourself up for a huge life change. Maybe you have kids and are worried about how they’re going to be impacted by all of this. You’re worried about your finances. How do people split them when separating? What’s legal? Where do you even start?
It's a lot to worry about but through it all you have one thought: “I don’t want to fight. I want to get through this as amicably as possible and move on with my life.” You’ve watched the TV shows, you’ve read the news and seen all the high-profile, messy celebrity divorces. You don’t want that for your life. Knowing this is one thing - figuring out how to do it is another.
While you can’t ultimately control what your ex is going to do, you can control what you do, and how you respond to emotional, potentially confrontational situations.
Here are four tips to help your family law file run as smoothly as possible:
1. Be Prepared to Share All Your Financial Information
Financial disclosure is the exchange of financial documents by both parties in a family law matter. It is one of the biggest hurdles people face in the separation process. It’s exhausting, it takes time, and can feel invasive. Sadly, in almost all cases, exchanging financial disclosure is obligatory. What does disclosure entail? It depends on the facts of your particular situation. If you’re negotiating child or spousal support with your ex, you both need a clear understanding of your incomes. If you’re splitting your assets, you need to know what’s on the table. It seems obvious, but many people aren’t prepared for the rigmarole of actually doing it. If you’re consulting with a lawyer, your lawyer will advise you to obtain full and complete disclosure from the other side before agreeing to a final settlement, and of course the obligation must be reciprocal.
The financial disclosure process will involve obtaining and exchanging tax information, information about your bank accounts, investments, real estate, and any other financial information necessary to provide an accurate and complete picture of your financial situation. This helps ensure both parties can make an informed decision regarding their settlement. This doesn’t mean you need to disclose everything and the kitchen sink, but you should be prepared to be honest and forthright about your finances. If you are not, the other side may become aggressive and confrontational regarding omitted information, and you may even face penalties down the line for refusing to provide standard disclosure.
To help you navigate this process, we’ve put together a comprehensive blog that explains your financial disclosure obligations in Alberta in more detail.
2. Be Honest and Upfront with Your Lawyer
When retaining legal counsel or consulting with a legal coach, it is important to be completely honest and upfront with them. Don’t feel embarrassed or afraid to tell them facts about your case that are negative. They are on your team and are working with you to advance your best interests. It’s much better for them to know the situation upfront so they can prepare, rather than being caught off guard and struggling to manage the negatives later. If they aren't informed, the worst-case scenario is being blindsided by negative information from the other side. This can lead to a settlement that’s less favorable to you or, in some cases, force your lawyer or legal coach to withdraw from your case from a breakdown of trust.
3. Be Willing to Compromise
Compromise is the best way to come to settlements. Parties who play hard ball often find themselves in lengthy and costly family law disputes, whether in court or through other legal processes, with little to no progress. This can be emotionally, financially, and physically draining for everyone involved, including your children, if you have them. Think about what the priority is for you.
Do you want to take your ex for every cent they have, or do you want to move on and start rebuilding your life?
Do you want your kids to spend years watching their parents fight over every other weekend, or do you want them to grow up knowing their parents put their best interests first and were willing to compromise?
It’s easy to get caught up in the small issues that arise throughout your case and lose sight of the bigger picture. That’s why it is important to take a step back and focus on what truly matters for you and your family and prioritize your own peace and well-being over simply “winning”.
4. Know Your Bottom Line
You’ve received a settlement offer from the other side. There are parts of it you think you can accept, but other parts you are unsure about. What’s the best move here? Before making any decisions, take the time to reflect, seek advice from your legal assistance if you have it, and clarify your bottom line.
What is the absolute minimum you are willing to accept?
Is it worth pushing for more, knowing it could escalate the situation and complicate your case? Or is it better to accept slightly less now and enjoy the rewards later—like quality time with your kids on vacation, free from the stress of another angry email?
Don’t compromise yourself, but don’t fight for no reason.
Family law can be contentious, emotionally taxing, and expensive - but it doesn’t have to be. By following these four tips, you can ease the challenges of separation and take steps toward the freedom you deserve. The legal professionals at Coach My Case are here to guide you through this process in the most cost-effective and amicable way possible. Consult with us today and let us help you put yourself and your family first.
