By Benjamin Szalay-Anderson, Alberta Legal Coach
Social media has been on the rise since the early 2000s and is now woven into everyday life. Whether it’s for business, staying connected with family and friends, or sharing personal milestones, social media has become a powerful tool. But during a separation, what you post online can have real consequences. Whether it's venting frustration, reacting to an ex’s new relationship, or accessing shared accounts, social media decisions can impact your legal proceedings and co-parenting dynamics.
To help illustrate some key dos and don’ts, let’s follow an example of a couple going through a separation: Taylor and Alex. Like many separating couples, they are navigating emotional challenges, co-parenting responsibilities, and the complexities of social media use. Their experiences will help clarify how certain online actions can impact separation and what steps to take instead.
Social Media Don’ts
1. Do not post or comment without thinking ahead:
Taylor and Alex are in the middle of a difficult separation. When Taylor discovered through a social media post that Alex had a new partner, emotions ran high. Hurt and frustrated, Taylor considered commenting on the post or reaching out to Alex’s new partner directly.
Public online conflicts can have unintended consequences, especially when children are involved. Courts take a negative view of social media disputes that put children in the middle of parental conflict. Instead of posting publicly, Taylor’s best approach would be to communicate directly with Alex if necessary. If there are genuine concerns about the new partner’s involvement with the children, discussing them privately—by email or phone, and at a time when the children are not present—helps preserve a cooperative co-parenting relationship.
This approach allows both parties to express their feelings and perspectives on what is in the children’s best interests while keeping conflict away from them.
2. Do not interfere with the other party:
Alex and Taylor’s separation has been tense, and emotions are running high. Frustrated and feeling like they have lost control of the situation, Alex remembers that Taylor once sent them a text with passwords to several shared accounts. Tempted to log in, Alex considers checking Taylor’s messages or activity—perhaps looking for answers or reassurance.
However, accessing Taylor’s accounts—whether out of curiosity, frustration, or a desire to gain information—is an invasion of privacy and will not be viewed favorably by the court. Most social media platforms track login activity, including when and where an account was accessed. If Taylor can show that Alex was interfering —whether by logging in, reading or deleting private messages, or altering posts — the court may draw a negative inference about Alex’s behaviour.
For example, if Alex sent an angry direct message to Taylor on social media but later regretted it, they might be tempted to delete it from Taylor’s messages. However, if Taylor presents evidence that the message was tampered with in a hearing, the court may assume the worst about what was originally said. That assumption could be far more damaging than the actual message itself, leading to negative perceptions of Alex and making it harder for them to be seen as credible.
While Alex should not have sent the message in anger, the best course of action would be to acknowledge it and provide context for why it was sent. Owning up to it will not undo the damage of the angry message, but it may help minimize any further consequences.
3. Do not accept friend requests from people you don’t know or trust
Since separating, Taylor has been cautious about social media, blocking Alex from viewing personal posts. However, Taylor recently received a friend request from an unfamiliar profile. The account had no profile picture, a generic name, and only a few visible connections. Curious but unsure, Taylor considered accepting the request to see if it was someone they knew.
While social media is a great way to connect with people, you don’t always know who is behind a new friend request. In some cases, the other party may attempt to gain access to your posts through a fake or shared account. This could be a way to monitor your activity, gather information for legal proceedings, or even provoke conflict.
If you’ve blocked the other party, be mindful of any suspicious new connections. A good rule of thumb is to verify the person’s identity through another trusted method—such as reaching out on a different platform or confirming through mutual connections—before accepting a request. In some situations, maintaining strict privacy settings and limiting your audience to close, trusted individuals can help protect your personal information.
Social Media Do’s
4. Change your passwords:
Taylor and Alex have agreed to go their separate ways. While there may still be lingering resentment, the focus should be on moving forward–co-parenting, setting boundaries, and building their own lives. One important step in this process is ensuring digital privacy.
Both Taylor and Alex should change their passwords on any shared or personal accounts to prevent unwanted access. Not only is this a good precaution for safety and privacy, but it also allows them to move on without unnecessary digital ties to each other.
5. Consider a social media agreement:
Taylor and Alex’s children will be starting junior high this year. At their elementary school graduation, both parents attended, taking photos with the kids, their friends, teachers, and supportive family members. Later, Alex posted the pictures on Facebook and Instagram, sharing them publicly. However, Taylor wasn’t consulted beforehand and has concerns about the children’s privacy and consent.
In the age of social media, children often have their photos posted online without their input or consent. While sharing milestones can feel like a natural way to celebrate achievements, it can also expose children to public scrutiny, fuel concerns about body image and self-worth, and raise broader privacy issues. Beyond this, children may want a say in whether images or personal details about them are made publicly available.
Before posting information about your children on social media, consider creating a social media agreement with the other party outlining what information is appropriate to share, and with whom. Setting clear expectations early on helps ensure both parents are on the same page and minimizes future disputes over online posts.
Social Media Considerations
These last two points aren’t do’s or don’ts, but rather important legal considerations to keep in mind before posting on social media.
6. Social media in litigation:
Social media is often used as evidence in court, especially in the family law cases. The court will accept any evidence as long as it is relevant and material –meaning that a post can be considered if it directly relates to the issue at hand or it makes the outcome of a legal test more or less likely.
To illustrate how social media can play a role in litigation, let’s look at a couple of examples involving Taylor and Alex:
- School dispute - Taylor and Alex are in a dispute over which junior high school their children should attend. When deciding this issue, the court focuses on the best interests of the child, which include maintaining stability in their social, psychological, and physical development. If Alex can present historical posts showing the children with close friends from their current school, this could serve as evidence that changing schools might disrupt important relationships. The court may take these social ties into account when making their decision.
- Child support dispute –Taylor is seeking financial support from Alex to help cover the children’s extraordinary expenses, such as day camps and sports. Alex claims they cannot afford the additional costs. However, Taylor comes across a recent post on Alex’s social media account showing a luxury cruise with their new partner, complete with photos of expensive meals, drinks, and activities. This type of content could be submitted in court as evidence that Alex may have the financial means to contribute to the children’s expenses, potentially influencing the court’s decision.
7. Social media for document service:
In Canada, social media can be a valid method of serving legal documents in certain circumstances. In family law matters, initial court documents—such as a statement of claim or originating application—must typically be provided to the defendant in person.
While personal service is the gold standard, if a party is difficult to locate or contact, and there is evidence that they actively use a particular social media account, the court may allow service through that platform. However, it’s important to note that this is not a conventional method of service. The court must first approve it, typically by granting a substitutional service order, before documents can be served this way
If you have questions about the legal risks of social media use during separation or need guidance on how to handle online posts in your case, our legal coaches are here to help. Reach out to us today and book a free 20-minute consultation with one of our experienced legal coaches!
